Sneaking In

AN: I can't stop writing about Clark and Diana in the New 52. I doubt this will happen but it would be funny if it did.


Sneaking In


"Women! Who needs them?"

Jimmy Olsen was still annoyed as he ran up the steps in the subway. Thirty minutes ago, Jimmy was sitting in a Starbucks waiting on Eliza, his date for the night. They flirted back and forth on the subway to their respective jobs for two weeks until Jimmy asked her to meet for coffee before catching the eight-thirty movie. Jimmy was excited about seeing Eliza but after sitting in the café for an hour, Jimmy got the feeling he was being stood up. The first call Eliza answered and immediately hung up when she heard Jimmy's voice. The next two calls went straight to voice mail.

Disgruntled, Jimmy paid for his coffee and left.

"She could've said she wasn't interested," Jimmy grumbled as he walked the three blocks to his apartment building. "Why waste my time?"

Talking to himself and not paying attention as he crossed the street, a taxi honked his horn at Jimmy.

"I'm walking here!" Jimmy yelled at the taxi as he jogged the rest of the way across the street. Jimmy gave the taxi driver a finger and entered his apartment building.

Jimmy stepped in the elevator, sighed and looked at his watch. "Eight-twenty. How lame. Date was over before it began." Stepping off the elevator, Jimmy thought of what he would say to Clark and then he realized it was Clark. When was the last time he had a date? Jimmy recalled Lois' sister Lucy but that was only one date. Lucy seemed interested but Clark wasn't. After the first date, he talked fondly of Lucy that Jimmy thought a second date would be coming but a few days later he suddenly lost interest. Jimmy tried to get a reason out of Clark but Clark only said she wasn't his type.

How would Clark know what his type was if he didn't go on more than one date with a woman? It's not like he had women lining up to date him. Lucy was a pretty girl. Jimmy didn't see anything wrong with Lucy.

"He's gonna be a monk if he doesn't get out there," Jimmy murmured as he turned the key into his apartment.

Clark told Jimmy he was going to relax at home and work on some stories. Jimmy didn't get that impression when he walked in his apartment. Two bags of Chinese takeout laid on the coffee table. Jimmy peeked in the bags. The food here fed more than one person. Odd. Next to the food Jimmy noticed a DVD.

Jimmy picked up the DVD and read the title, "Jason and the Argonauts? What?"

"Jimmy?" Jimmy spotted Clark stepping out of his bedroom. Clark seemed surprised Jimmy was here. "You're back early."

Jimmy placed the DVD back on the coffee table. "Yeah, Eliza stood me up. What's with the food and the old movie? I thought you said you were going to be working on some stories tonight."

"I was," Clark looked behind Jimmy at the door. "But I decided to take a break tonight with dinner and watch a movie."

"Looks like you got enough for two." Jimmy dug in one of the Chinese bags and pulled out a plastic dish. "I have no plans. I'll eat and watch the movie with you."

"No." Jimmy blinked in surprise. What the? How fast did Clark move from his bedroom doorway to the coffee table?

Clark placed the food back in the bag. To make sure Jimmy wouldn't take any, Clark placed the bags in his hands. He also grabbed the DVD. "This is my dinner. I'm sorry. I would share but I didn't eat lunch today and I'm really hungry."

"Uh, okay," Jimmy found Clark's behavior strange. Clark didn't mind sharing his food before. What was with him tonight? Jimmy also noticed Clark kept looking at the door behind him and with Clark hogging all the food, Jimmy wondered, "You sneak! You have date tonight! Is she coming here?"

"What?" Clark sputtered. "No, I'm just hungry and I want to eat."

The doorbell rang and Jimmy swore Clark's face turned white. Jimmy smiled wryly. "You do have a date coming over! Oh, Clark, I didn't know you had it in you to be so smooth." Jimmy turned his back on Clark and went to the door. "Is it anyone I know? Is she hot?"

"Jimmy, you don't have to get that. I can---"

"Don't worry. I'll say hello to her and disappear for a couple of hours." Jimmy touched the doorknob. He turned back to smile at Clark who looked worried, "I won't say anything embarrassing. I promise." Jimmy opened the door and found no one standing on the other side. "What?" Jimmy stepped outside the apartment and looked down both sides of the hallway. "I bet it's the Romano kids again ringing the doorbells and running away. Brats." Jimmy stepped inside and closed the door. "What time is your date coming?"

"I don't have a date coming." Clark said. If Jimmy didn't know better, he would say Clark looked relieved. "This is for me." Clark held up the bags again. "I'm really hungry." Clark turned to go back to his room.

"Wait, you're gonna eat in your room? The TV's out here."

"I can play the movie on my laptop." Clark disappeared in his room and closed the door.

"But why?" Jimmy asked. "The TV's thirty inches. Your laptop has a seventeen inch screen."

Clark didn't answer. "Clark! You're not making any sense." Jimmy went to the door. He opened Clark's door and found Clark opening his window. It was fifty degrees outside. Why was Clark opening his window? "What are you doing?"

"Opening my window." Clark stepped away from his window. "Why?"

"Something weird is going on," Jimmy said. "At first I thought a woman was coming over but she would come through the door and not the window. What's going on, Clark? I'm your best friend. I'm your roommate. You can tell me."

Clark sighed. Jimmy would keep asking until he got his answer. He had to tell him. He turned to Jimmy looking more serious than Jimmy had ever expected. It worried Jimmy Clark looked that way. "Wonder Woman is coming over tonight for a dinner and a movie. I thought I was going to have the place to myself but you came back unexpectedly."

Jimmy stared at Clark shocked. Did Clark really say that? First his date stood him up and now this. "If you're not going to tell me, Clark, then don't make up ridiculous lies." Jimmy walked out of the room. "Wonder Woman coming to see you. Yeah, right. And I'm Superman!"

Clark closed the door and for good measure locked it. He turned around to see Diana descending in front of his window. Clark went to his window, took Diana's hand and helped her inside. Diana's boots clicked against the hardwood floor. Luckily it wasn't so loud that it drew Jimmy's attention.

Diana kissed Clark hello and said, "I can't believe you told him that."

Clark's eyes twinkled. "I knew he wouldn't believe me."

Diana removed her newsboy cap and unbuckled her trench coat. Clark helped her out of the coat, folded it and placed it on the back of his chair and the cap in the seat. He took a moment to look Diana over in her outfit. She wore a simple dark blue dress and her infamous black boots. Her face wasn't hidden behind glasses and her hair wasn't pulled back into something indistinguishable either.

"That isn't a good disguise."

"I'm working on it," Diana contended. "I'm new to this. Besides, it was enough to walk in your apartment building without drawing attention."

That was true.

"Having your roommate still here almost blew your cover tonight," Diana told him.

She was right again.

"I didn't know his date stood him up."

"Clark?"

Diana clamped a hand over her mouth. Clark turned to the door. "Yeah, Jimmy?"

Jimmy's hand touched the doorknob. He turned it. "Why do you have your door locked?"

"I, uh, wanted some privacy."

"Can you open your door?"

Clark looked to Diana who shrugged. She didn't know what to do.

"Clark?"

Clark put a finger to his lips. He held Diana's hand as he walked to the door. Diana's boots clicked on the hardwood floor again.

"What's that noise?" Jimmy asked.

Diana elevated herself above the floor. She stood behind Clark's door as he opened it. "What's up, Jimmy?"

"I wanted to apologize. I'm annoyed Eliza stood me up and I took it out on you." Clark was a good guy to Jimmy. He was an old fashioned Midwestern guy who didn't deserve Jimmy's answer. He should be mad at Eliza, not Clark. "She didn't have to take my number if she didn't really want it. Why do women do that? They give their number and don't respond when you call them!"

Clark shrugged. "I wouldn't know. I don't give women my numbers."

"You don't even try." And Jimmy didn't understand that. "You can be a great catch if you were more secure in yourself, Clark. You won't get a woman like Wonder Woman but I bet you can get someone. Maybe some mousy low maintenance brunette. That's similar to your type."

If only Jimmy knew. "Maybe but I'm not preoccupied with that, Jimmy. If I'm meant to be with someone, it'll happen."

"Yeah, I guess so." How can you be with someone if you don't get out there and start dating? I'm chilling in my room the rest of the night. Good night, Clark."

"Good night, Jimmy." Clark closed the door and locked it again.

Still floating in the air, Diana placed an arm around Clark's neck and pulled him off the ground. Diana removed Clark's glasses. "I like you better without them."

"Whatever makes the lady happy," Clark quipped.

"That's right." Diana settled her other arm around Clark's neck. "So, are mousy low maintenance brunettes more your type than Wonder Woman?"

She was being playful again. "Given the current situation, I would say no. I think Wonder Woman is more of my type, but rumor has it she is secretly dating Superman. A simple reporter can't compete with that."

"Clark?"

Startled, Clark lost his control of flight forcing Diana to keep him afloat. She buried her face in his shoulder stifling her laughter. The interruptions were too much.

"Yeah, Jimmy?"

"Are you talking to yourself in there?"

"Yeah?" Clark drawled slowly.

Jimmy sighed. "You really need to get a girlfriend." The door to Jimmy's bedroom closed and Clark hoped that would be the last they hear of Jimmy tonight.

Diana gently lowered her and Clark back to the floor. "Next time we'll have dinner and a movie at my place."